Travel advice from a WAG

The UK government has decided to issue updated advice for its countrymen and women when travelling overseas - and, in true UK style, not without a bit of sexing up first.

This week, our Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) has "teamed up with" (ie paid) Charlotte Meares, making her the new spokesperson for their national Know Before You Go campaign.

For those who may have missed an issue or 10 of Heat magazine, Charlotte is the fiancée of Tottenham Hotspur striker Jermain Defoe. Yes, a WAG. The FCO despair so greatly of our failure to pack our common sense when heading abroad they feel our only hope comes in the form of a footballer's girlfriend.

"It is amazing how many things can go wrong when you are travelling," she says. "So I wanted to share my top tips for a hassle-free trip with you." Thank you, Charlotte. So what pearls can you offer to help our trips run more smoothly?

"It might sound trivial but you never know when you might break a nail or your extensions turn green in the pool," she warns. "To stay looking your best, even if you are not taking a personal stylist with you, get a number of good local beauticians or check if the hotel has one before you go!" And, before moving on to advise on what cosmetics to pack, she slyly adds that you should slip in your local embassy or consul's number while you're at it. Ah ha! See what they did there?

Charlotte is also quick to point out that "one tumble off a bar table in your Jimmy Choos" could lead to an insurance disaster if you're not covered. However, we're imagining that there are few insurance claims for Jimmy Choo accidents among WAG wannabes and far more for "Jimmy Choos" that supposedly went missing in action.

It's a worry just thinking of all those pre-holiday to-do lists that could have gone horribly wrong were Charlotte not available to remind you: "Get your jabs - not just your botox!" Fortunately for us all, she also shares the WAG technique for looking cool and "in the know" when you arrive. "Wear something the locals would but with a unique twist. Think Henna'd hands in India." Surely that would make you as "in the know" as Madonna circa 1998. Come on WAGs - isn't it all about Middle Eastern keffiyehs now? Or perhaps even that has passed. (I'll check Urban Outfitters' shelves and get back to you.)

Meanwhile, the Chinese government has also released new guidelines for its nationals when abroad - a market that was Asia's largest last year, growing by 10% to reach nearly 34 million. No shouting, no fighting, no extortion was the sum of its more pragmatic advisory, which appeared on the Foreign Ministry's website earlier today. "Keep peaceful in public places," it continues, "don't talk loud and avoid sticking out."

Some of them might be in for quite a shock when they realise how other nationalities behave abroad. Naming no names, of course ...
Link